Punk's Simple Southern Food (Houston, TX)

Located in the West University district of Houston, Texas, Punk’s Simple Southern Food (5212 Morningside Drive) offers a varied selection of southern classics with a few twists. It purports to be all about southern hospitality married to a healthy dose of swagger and good manners. Happy Hour is offered Sunday through Friday from 3p - 7p in the bar area. Discounted appetizers including southern cheese straws, pork ribs and hot boiled shrimp stay in the price range of $2 to $11 (or current market price for shrimp). Both red and white wine is $5 and there is a $2 discount on Houston beers. Rounding out the offerings are three specialty cocktails, a manhattan and margarita for $6 and an alcoholic iced tea for $7.

I visited Punk’s on the last day of my Labor Day vacation (that Monday) so the bar was pretty empty save for two gentleman at the end. The space overall was inviting and open, much as you would expect from a southern establishment such as this. Bar area was huge so you didn’t feel cramped while eating your food and drinking (sometimes a problem for me as I tend to order many things at once). Most of the staff was chatty and warm, talking to my friend and I about where we were from and other spots to try in town. Our actual bartender/waitress wasn’t as great. After our initial order, she basically ignored us for the other guys at the bar (there was at least 5 feet between us and them). She also forgot to put in part of my order. There was a gentlemen cleaning the vents as well which struck me as a little odd for numerous reasons, one of them being me not wanting dust in my food. As it wasn’t terribly busy, they must have found it an opportune time to “clean house”.

My first sampling of Punk’s fare was the Southern Cheese Straws ($3: baked cheese straws with buttermilk ranch and Punk’s sauce). Now I like cheese straws and I get that the basic premise is baked dough that has cheese mixed in, but these were DRY. I like a little crispness to them but these were barely edible.The ranch and Punk’s sauce (aka housemade hot sauce) added a bit to them but overall they lacked flavor.

Because they were both so reasonably priced I tried both the Chicken Fry ($3: buttermilk biscuit stuffed with crispy chicken tender, Punk’s Sauce, and dill pickles) and the Pulled Pork Sliders ($3: pulled pork,vinegar bbq sauce, garlic aioli and a green cabbage and apple slaw). I love biscuits. I grew up eating either biscuits or cornbread. The only way to improve a biscuit I eat would be to add chicken. I theoretically should have loved the chicken fry. I probably would have if it offered up the tiniest bit of a flavor profile. The biscuit wasn’t buttery but very doughy (bleggh), the chicken (though crispy) was blah and the dill pickles (presented in a sort of relish) didn’t seem to really be present. The Punk’s sauce was a nice addition, yet not enough to save everything else. 

The chicken fry may have saddened me, but the pulled pork sliders were, how do the kids say it these days, on fleek? The pork was super tender and juicy, with enough flavor to make me temporarily not care about my first two items. The slaw had just the right amount of bite and there wasn’t a ton of it so as not to overshadow the real star of the show. There were three good sized sliders included making this dish really worth the money.

For my first drink I decided on the Hatteras Island Iced Tea ($7: bourbon, raspberry, lemon and iced tea) as it sounded like a perfect compliment to the humid Houston day. The drink was a niced size one for the $7 price tag. While the raspberry flavor was immediately evident, I didn’t get even a hint of bourbon, or lemon for that matter. Ended up tasting like a run of the mill raspberry iced tea.

I did decided to try out two items on Punk’s regular menu as they were pretty reasonably priced as well. The Loaded Tater Tots ($9: creamy rice loaded with bacon, cheddar, scallion, and sour cream rolled in potato crisps and fried served with buttermilk ranch) were an obvious choice because I love bacon, cheddar and sour cream anything. It also seemed much healthier since it was made with rice. The tots were huge and definitely something you could share with a friend. Outside of that they were very bland and starchy. I almost wondered if there was really bacon in it (there were visible bits of the bacon and scallions). The ranch helped a bit but I try not to eat things that require you to smother it in ranch in order to eat them.

As I was disappointed with my first drink selection I decided to try Punk’s version of a Pimm’s Cup ($10: Pimm’s No. 1, strawberry, cucumber, sugar and lime juice) which is one of their best sellers. I could immediately tell why. I normally stay away from gin, but this Pimm’s cup was delicious. The addition of the strawberry added to the flavor profile and helped the drink mellow out a bit along with the cucumber (which I normally hate, but liked in combination with the strawberry and lime in this drink).

Overall I give Punk’s Simple Southern Food 1 smile. Either they take the simple part of their name too seriously or I’m just used to super jazzed up southern food. The service could definitely be improved, especially if you're having a slow night with only a few customers. I wouldn’t recommend Punk’s to someone traveling to Houston unless you have an extreme affinity for pulled pork sliders and Pimm’s Cups under $14, in which case this is your place.